


Hurt

by choppyVy



Series: Anguish or The Hurt - Ache - Agony Trilogy [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exploring, Fluffy Smut, Intimacy, M/M, favorite sex position, new sex position, takes place after 2x13 ending scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 21:31:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11426580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choppyVy/pseuds/choppyVy
Summary: Magnus assures Alec that they are good, and what has happened might have hurt their relationship, them, but not damaged it irreparably. They get physically closer than ever in the process.





	Hurt

“Magnus you were right. You never have to prove yourself to me. I love you.”  
“I love you too.”  
It is as soon as their lips part from this kiss that Alec blurts out “Please don’t send me away again.”  
Magnus sees the fear held in Alec’s eyes, “Alexander.”  
Alec swallows hard, not yet quite ready to hear Magnus say his name with such tenderness again, “It hurt …, knowing I did something to hurt you so deeply. Especially after everything I had done to you already, I’m so sorry, Magnus, so so ….”  
“Shh,” Magnus cuts Alec off then. Pulling him closer against himself, out there in the rapidly cooling night air on the balcony. “I know how much I am asking of you, how much I have asked of you ever since the moment we met. And most of it goes against everything that has been drilled into you all of your life. I am sorry too, for forgetting that, far too many times.”  
“Magnus, I …, I ….” But Alec cannot find the words he is searching for to say the things he wants to, needs to let Magnus know. He will find them, in time. In the days to come, when they will be needed, more than ever.  
Magnus gladly takes the opportunity to complete an earlier thought. “I fell for you so deep so fast, I sometimes forget how young we are, this,” he gestures between the two of them, an afterthought “… you, so incredibly young.”  
Alec is blushing, with a soft smile on his lips and a huff.  
“Adorable,” Magnus smiles right back at him. “Adorable Alexander. My adorable Alexander.”  
Alec’s smile turns serious again quickly, “Don’t ever stop.”  
“Oh, darlin’, I would not know how to stop loving you if I tried,” Magnus is quick to reply, carding a hand through Alec’s hair as he hums the words. Pushing away the knowledge that this kind of love brings the most crushing pain, always, in time.  
Alec is smiling wider again, “Good to know, great, actually, but not what I meant. Please don’t ever stop calling me out if … whenever you think something is going wrong. Please?”  
Magnus pulls him into a tight embrace, feels Alec slump against him as he hears Magnus whisper, “I promise, darlin’. I promise.”  
They stand like this for quite some time, and at first, as Magnus feels Alec’s embrace loosen he prepares himself for the rush of cold air that will envelop him in a second, … but it never comes.  
What Magnus is utterly unprepared for, sending a lingering shiver through his entire body, is the pair of lips, puffing soft breaths and even softer kisses up the side of his neck. Alec is suddenly crowding him against the balcony’s stone boarder, and a violent shiver rocks Magnus’s body all over as Alec’s lips move from the spot right behind his ear to nibbling and sucking on his earlobe.  
“Alexander,” Magnus half gasps, half moans.  
“Please don’t send me away, tonight, Magnus.”  
This catches Magnus’s attention, shifts his brain back into a higher gear. Cupping Alec’s face, connecting their gazes, he, calmly as he can, with his breathing still harsh, states, “I want you to stay, if you want to stay. You have nothing to make up to me. We are good.”  
Magnus catches the not so brief flicker of uncertainty in Alec’s eyes.  
“Alexander,” he knows that always gives him Alec’s full attention, “we are good, you and I. We are. Do you believe me?”  
“I believe you,” Alec answers, smile small and hesitant, but voice steady. “We are good.” And then Alec is plunging forward, as if he still needs to prove it to himself, to both of them maybe, pulling Magnus into a deep kiss that has them separate this time both out of breath, panting.  
Magnus takes his hand, pulling a happily dazed Alec towards the bedroom.  
Hands roam freely, and it does not take much for them to get under the covers, naked and still kissing.  
Alec reaching out, taking Magnus’s cock in his hand, beginning a slow, not teasing but cherishing motion that has Magnus scoot close as he can, burying his first moan against Alec’s shoulder. “Alexander.”  
“Magnus, let me help you feel good,” Alec hums against his boyfriend’s skin.  
Alec can feel Magnus’s smile in answer against his shoulder, “I already feel good. I’m with you.”  
“Let me make you feel great then,” Alec tries.  
“That,” Magnus moans again at the continuing pumping motion of Alec’s hand, “… that I’ll gladly let you try.”  
Alec shifts their weight then, suddenly crowding Magnus’s body into the mattress, his head with a heated kiss being pressed into the pillow. “Tell me what you want. Anything. I … I want to give you anything, everything.”  
Magnus looks up with wide eyes at Alec, ravelling in the feel of his solid form grounding him with tenderness and determination. 'Such an attractive combination,' he thinks to himself.  
Alec’s hand is still cupping Magnus’s cock, gently, when he hears Magnus’s next words, accompanied by a sudden moan when Alec in reaction to them cannot help, giving Magnus’s cock a tight tug before letting it go, arms coming to rest to the sides of Magnus’s face, bracketing his head as Alec intently looks down into his eyes.  
“I want you to make love with me,” Magnus repeats, just as soft as before, still startling Alec all over once more.  
They have never called it this before.  
'Make love,' Alec finds himself utterly overwhelmed with the thought.  
Magnus notices his distress, and his own hands come up to gently cup Alec’s face, “Alexander? What’s wrong?”  
There are a couple of stray tears gathering in and rolling from Alec’s eyes before he can find any words.  
“Darling?” Magnus asks, worried now.  
“Can you say it again?” Alec asks tentatively.  
“What?” Magnus frowns. “Darling? I call you that all ….”  
“No,” Alec cuts him off with a soft, still disbelieving smile now, “the other thing.” Alec can watch Magnus’s mind catch on.  
Magnus smiles brighter than Alec can remember ever having seen it, “I want you to make love with me, Alexander, darling.”  
Alec smiles just as ridiculously bright answering, “I want to make love with you, Magnus.”  
They lose themselves in kisses and simply feeling each other’s skin against their own for a while, no tension growing, just warm anticipation within them.  
Until … one experimental shift of hips sends Alec’s head flying back, whole body arching as the moan erupts loud in the peaceful room. “Magnus.”  
“I know, sweetheart.” Magnus hips grind down, once, twice, where Alec’s had arched up a moment ago, and Alec is panting hard already.  
“I need … I need …just …, Magnus, more, please, Magnus. I need ….”  
“I’m here. I’m here. Turn over,” Magnus adds, gently coaxing his boyfriend to lie down on his stomach.  
Magnus notices how Alec’s breathing suddenly spikes into shallow gasps.  
“Darling, I’m here.” Magnus gently blankets Alec’s whole body with his own, chest aligned with Alec’s back, and only then he realizes … verbalizes “We have never done anything in this position.”  
“No,” Alec nervously squeaks.  
“We don’t ha….” Magnus starts.  
“No, I mean, I want to, but … it’s just, I …” Alec turns over again under Magnus, gazes connecting openly, “… I like, no,” he shakes his head at himself, “I need, I want to look at … I need to see you, looking into your eyes, seeing you, the real you, your real eyes. Nothing we could ever do could make me feel closer to you. I need you.”  
Magnus just stares, jaw slack, mouth half open, swallowing down his speechlessness he brings out, “Do you trust me?”  
“Always.”  
Alec stays on his back for the time being. Magnus takes great care to open Alec up carefully, maybe uses more than enough lube, takes pride and pleasure in having Alec with him, panting and moaning, all reservation, so engrained in his every day posture, movement, all gone.  
Only when Alec’s gaze is already hazy with pleasure and Magnus own eyes have long shed all remnants of their glamour, shining bright and golden, does Magnus say it again, “Trust me, darling. Turn over for me.”  
Alec is unsure why, but maybe it is the clear intent in Magnus voice that sends a shiver through him, has him comply.  
The yelp Alec lets out when Magnus, kneeling between Alec’s slightly spread legs grabs these by the upper thighs and pulls Alec backwards into his lap, legs now spread on either side of Magnus still kneeling there, has both men ascend into breathless laughter.  
“You know this is all literaly backwards. What is the plan here?” Alec asks, as he cranes his neck slightly to find his boyfriend’s gaze.  
“You can’t see it yet?” Magnus smiles warmly. “Let me show you.  
With one gentle stroke along Alec’s temple, a single image running through his mind sends a jolt through his body, and he slumps fully back against his boyfriend’s chest, suddenly feeling boneless. “Magnus,” he pants, eyes wide, easily holding Magnus’s gaze now that he has fully relaxed against his boyfriend’s body. “Did you just?”  
Magnus smiles, “No, darling. No sex magic, we agreed on that, not until you feel ready. This was just … a little preview … of what is possible. That response to it, your response to that image, was all you.”  
“You are magnificent,” Alec still pants.  
Magnus leans in, the soft kiss lingering. A smile. “You are.”  
“How,” Alec has seen the image, but how exactly it will work, them connecting and then shifting into that position. “Where do you need me?” He wants it now. It had looked so very intimate.  
“On your stomach darling, we ... connect, and then, we shift back together, on our knees, and then you just lean back and relax, and let me do the work, or join in, as you please.”  
“Can we try it now?” Alec asks, more eager than he had intended for it to come out.  
“I’d hoped you might like to, yes.”  
One more kiss to Magnus lips and Alec shifts back to lying on his stomach, growing impatience edging him on. “Magnus, please. I need you now. Please, your co… .”  
Alec never finishes the sentence, word erupting into a moan as Magnus, cock slicked up thoroughly, enters him with a slow and steady stroke. Panting himself, “Alexander.”  
Alec's breathing is heavy as, Magnus' hands search out his and their fingers intertwine on the mattress, joined hands pressing into the soft grounding, as Magnus rocks his hips into Alec, reaching deeper, opening him up more. The position an utterly new experience to Alec, the feeling.  
“Magnus, I need ….”  
Alec moans as Magnus rocks forward twice more before he feels Magnus lying himself down fully along his back, arms, winding under Alec’s body, and maybe it is all the hand to hand combat with Jace, but suddenly it is like his body has performed this motion dozens of times before, the shift comes so natural.  
Magnus pulls and Alec simply goes backwards with him.  
The sharp outcry from his boyfriend, frightens Magnus, for a split second, but then a panting, grinning Alec is resting fully back against Magnus’s chest, their gazes glued to each other’s, Magnus’s arms still holding Alec’s chest tight. Head slumped back against Magnus’s shoulder Alec emits shaky little pants. Eyes closing, as if Alec is trying to concentrate, to dig up some words from his pleasure flooded mind. “How can you even hit my prostate so perfectly? I ...I just .... You have never been this deep inside of me.”  
Magnus lets out a groan, leans his head down the tiny distance left between their lips with Alec slumped back against him this completely. “Darlin’” it is all he can bring out himself.  
Alec sees stars with Magnus first real thrust, “Oh my … Magnus!”  
“Look at me, Alexander.”  
Alec’s eyes fly open, this is all he had wanted, Magnus' golden gaze, his arms so strong around him, “You are, I feel you, all around me, all inside and around. Magnus, how ….”  
When they are not kissing their eyes are glued to each other, holding each other as Magnus drives up and forward, holding Alec to himself while jolting his whole body into the air. Alec's cock bouncing with the thrusts, Alec looking for hold with his arms at first, realizing then that the whole point of this position is the absolute freedom for him to let go, just be held close by Magnus, be held together, while being allowed to fall apart completely.  
As Magnus’s thrusts grow more intent and Alec finds himself at the edge of orgasm he reaches back, eliciting a moan from a panting Magnus, breaking a kiss between them, as Alec takes hold of Magnus’s ass cheeks, edging him on to put even more force into his thrusts, with words too, “Magnus, gosh. Yes! I love this, love you. Yes! Give me your cock. YES! Deeper. Give it to me. Make me come. This is … this is,” he pants, “you are so …” a moan, “so ... .”  
“Alexander,” Magnus pants as he lets go of Alec’s chest with one arm to reach for Alec's cock, stroking it fast and rough, the way he knows by now Alec needs it to topple over that final peak.  
A string of moans from Alec as Magnus continues to fuck him, while simultaneously working his cock with a tight fist, Alec himself meeting Magnus’s thrusts into him with downward rolling hips, tilted backwards slightly throughout the whole motion to get Magnus’s cock as deep as he wants it to reach, deep as it can.  
Alec sees a glint in Magnus’s golden eyes as he hears the words, “Look at that, Alexander. Look at that hot heavy cock fuck into my hand like that, yes, fuck it. Fuck it while I fuck you. Yes! Watch me make you come, Alexander.”  
With his name rolling from Magnus’s lips like that Alec feels his whole body cease, every muscle giving completely in seconds later, as they pant together, watch together Alec’s cum spurt onto Magnus's hand, the mattress.  
“Fuck!” Alec swears. “Come in me, Magnus. Come on. Paint me with your cum.”  
Breathless pants and grunts, and Magnus is thrusting up hard thrice, for a fourth time, and then Alec feels, “I can feel,” a loaded moan, drawn out as Magnus’s own joins it, “I can feel your cock pulsing inside me.”  
Magnus is still holding Alec against his chest as they both come down from their joined high.  
Magnus cannot help the chuckling breathless laugh as his gaze is met with Alec’s, breathing into a kiss, “I think I found a new favourite position.”  
“Oh, I’ve got so many more to show you, my darling, don’t make your mind up just yet.”  
Alec smiles into the next breathless, half panted kiss.  
“But …,” Magnus admits a moment later, this might just be my favourite too.”

**Author's Note:**

> The next part in the trilogy will be about 2x14. And the third about 2x15. Just a small heads up. Thought you might like to know.


End file.
